My Top 8 Pet Peeves of Spoken (Indian) English
There are many misconceptions in the world regarding English and the proficiency with which it is spoken in India. The Indian Accent is one of the most popularly imitated fake accents; of course most Indians don't speak with the stereotypical 'Indian Accent' as shown on television shows and movies. Actually there are many many many fluent English speakers in India, as it is one of our official languages. We're pretty good at understanding multiple accents as well (because of the diversity in India). But that doesn't mean that the English spoken in India is always grammatically accurate, or that words are pronounced using an appropriate phonetic system. Sometimes, the errors can be dismissed by claiming it is because of the differences between British spoken English and American spoken English (like when you try to say tomato, or using 'cutlery' instead of 'silverware'); but this isn't always true (as evidenced below). So here is a list of my top ten Grammar/Pronunciation pet peeves of the English Language (as spoken by Indians).
1) SUMMERS/WINTERS - This is easily my biggest pet peeve - and it's at the top of my list because weather is debated quite often in India. For the life of me I cannot understand why even well educated, highly qualified individuals in India will say 'summers' and 'winters' instead of 'summer' and 'winter'. I had hoped that the popularity of GoT with its tagline "Winter is coming" would clarify this, but sadly, it has had no effect whatsoever. In India, people still say "Winters are coming" when the weather becomes chilly in early November.
So here's the truth (and you can look this up if you want). If you are referring to seasons, or talking about what you would normally do during the months May - July, you want to say SUMMER, not summers. E.g. The correct way to say that you like to vacation in Goa when it is the hot time of year, you say "I like to vacation in Goa during Summer." The only acceptable time to use the plural form of that word is if you use the following variation of the above sentence: "The past few summers, I vacationed in Goa." (Unless of course you are talking about more than one person who sits and adds numbers for a living, i.e. SUMmers)
If you don't believe me, you can verify this information here: Source
2) Could care less - This is often used when people are trying to impress on others how little they care about something. Well, if that is your intention, then take a moment to re-read this statement - you "could care less", meaning that if your care factor for a particular situation was a mathematical number, then it is possible for you to find a number with a value less than the number assigned to your care factor - get it? So you don't really want to say you 'could care less'; the phrase that you actually want to use is - " I COULDN'T care less", meaning it isn't possible for you to a find a care factor lower than how you feel about that particular situation.
3) "I'm going to Office" - Ask anyone who is a part of the working population in Delhi what they do during the work week, and they will automatically say they 'go to office'. They may not work in an office - their work space might be a hospital, or a school, or any other type of work space; regardless, if they leave their home or apartment to go to another location for work purposes, they will automatically say 'they go to office'. Not even, 'the office', just 'office'. Personally, I feel this is because most people have subconsciously replaced the word 'work' with 'office', so the sentence they want to say is, 'I go to work on Mondays' but instead they now say, 'I go to office on Mondays'. It's not technically incorrect - just a dropped article, but it still makes my list because of the number of times I've had to hear it.
4) B-Owl - I guess I can understand how this mispronunciation started - Instead of the word 'bowl' rhyming with 'howl', or 'fowl', it rhymes with 'roll', and 'soul'. Who wouldn't be confused? Except of course if you've looked at the phonetics behind it, and the original pronunciation, it is quite clear that the two pronunciations are quite different. This is how it is phonetically written for a UK pronunciation./bəʊl/. 'Howl' on the other hand, is written like this: /haʊl/ (UK) - see the difference?
5) Wherein - I'm not actually sure when this became popular, and to be fair this isn't technically incorrect if it is used in place of 'where'. But here's why it made this list: 'Wherein' is to 'Where' as 'Thou' is to 'You'. So when people use 'Wherein' in conversation with me, I want to reply by saying 'Thou shalt not make use of outdated phrases in your speech'. Then again, I suppose the use of outdated phrases in our present day conversation does add unique flavor to our mundane day-to-day speech; maybe 'wherein' isn't the worst thing in the world!
6) MASS and DATA - The misconception among most Indians is that they pronounce 'mass' as maa - ss' and 'data' as 'daa-taa' because they use the British pronunciation and not the American one. Well, guess what, no matter which continent you are on, that is not the correct pronunciation. Neither word is pronounced with the 'aa' sound for the 'a'; Mass is pronounced 'ma-ss', and data is pronounced 'day-ta' Here is the correct pronunciation for the two words: MASS; DATA
7) I-run - People in India saying 'I-run' for Iron irks me just as much as people overseas saying 'I-ran' for Iran. This mispronunciation even appeared on Indian television during an advertisement for cereal when I was growing up. But this issue isn't quite as widespread anymore as it once was - maybe the Indian education system is addressing the gaps in their students education. However, I-ran, for the country Iran (and I-raq, for Iraq) is still quite widespread overseas, with several prominent politicians using the incorrect pronunciation. *shudder*
8) My hairs are soooo long! - This gives me shudders even as I type. Every time I hear someone say 'hairs' when they should say 'hair', I have to literally bite the insides of my mouth to stop myself from correcting them on the spot. Variations of this include - "his hairs are straight but mine are curly", "I will get my hairs cut today", etc. For the life of me I don't understand how this got started; English grammar books in India are very particular about plurals and words that don't have a plural, so it boggles my mind. Thankfully, this particular gap in grammar is not prevalent in most urban cities, but it is enough of an issue for it to make my top pet peeves.
I'm going to stop at 8 for today, but I'm sure I will add to this list over time. Communication and Language in India is always an adventure; especially when you consider that most Indians know two languages at least (some are native speakers of four or five languages). So in all honesty, a couple of mishaps here and there really isn't a big deal when you take that into consideration. We are masters of Language and Communication.
1) SUMMERS/WINTERS - This is easily my biggest pet peeve - and it's at the top of my list because weather is debated quite often in India. For the life of me I cannot understand why even well educated, highly qualified individuals in India will say 'summers' and 'winters' instead of 'summer' and 'winter'. I had hoped that the popularity of GoT with its tagline "Winter is coming" would clarify this, but sadly, it has had no effect whatsoever. In India, people still say "Winters are coming" when the weather becomes chilly in early November.
So here's the truth (and you can look this up if you want). If you are referring to seasons, or talking about what you would normally do during the months May - July, you want to say SUMMER, not summers. E.g. The correct way to say that you like to vacation in Goa when it is the hot time of year, you say "I like to vacation in Goa during Summer." The only acceptable time to use the plural form of that word is if you use the following variation of the above sentence: "The past few summers, I vacationed in Goa." (Unless of course you are talking about more than one person who sits and adds numbers for a living, i.e. SUMmers)
If you don't believe me, you can verify this information here: Source
2) Could care less - This is often used when people are trying to impress on others how little they care about something. Well, if that is your intention, then take a moment to re-read this statement - you "could care less", meaning that if your care factor for a particular situation was a mathematical number, then it is possible for you to find a number with a value less than the number assigned to your care factor - get it? So you don't really want to say you 'could care less'; the phrase that you actually want to use is - " I COULDN'T care less", meaning it isn't possible for you to a find a care factor lower than how you feel about that particular situation.
3) "I'm going to Office" - Ask anyone who is a part of the working population in Delhi what they do during the work week, and they will automatically say they 'go to office'. They may not work in an office - their work space might be a hospital, or a school, or any other type of work space; regardless, if they leave their home or apartment to go to another location for work purposes, they will automatically say 'they go to office'. Not even, 'the office', just 'office'. Personally, I feel this is because most people have subconsciously replaced the word 'work' with 'office', so the sentence they want to say is, 'I go to work on Mondays' but instead they now say, 'I go to office on Mondays'. It's not technically incorrect - just a dropped article, but it still makes my list because of the number of times I've had to hear it.
4) B-Owl - I guess I can understand how this mispronunciation started - Instead of the word 'bowl' rhyming with 'howl', or 'fowl', it rhymes with 'roll', and 'soul'. Who wouldn't be confused? Except of course if you've looked at the phonetics behind it, and the original pronunciation, it is quite clear that the two pronunciations are quite different. This is how it is phonetically written for a UK pronunciation./bəʊl/. 'Howl' on the other hand, is written like this: /haʊl/ (UK) - see the difference?
5) Wherein - I'm not actually sure when this became popular, and to be fair this isn't technically incorrect if it is used in place of 'where'. But here's why it made this list: 'Wherein' is to 'Where' as 'Thou' is to 'You'. So when people use 'Wherein' in conversation with me, I want to reply by saying 'Thou shalt not make use of outdated phrases in your speech'. Then again, I suppose the use of outdated phrases in our present day conversation does add unique flavor to our mundane day-to-day speech; maybe 'wherein' isn't the worst thing in the world!
6) MASS and DATA - The misconception among most Indians is that they pronounce 'mass' as maa - ss' and 'data' as 'daa-taa' because they use the British pronunciation and not the American one. Well, guess what, no matter which continent you are on, that is not the correct pronunciation. Neither word is pronounced with the 'aa' sound for the 'a'; Mass is pronounced 'ma-ss', and data is pronounced 'day-ta' Here is the correct pronunciation for the two words: MASS; DATA
7) I-run - People in India saying 'I-run' for Iron irks me just as much as people overseas saying 'I-ran' for Iran. This mispronunciation even appeared on Indian television during an advertisement for cereal when I was growing up. But this issue isn't quite as widespread anymore as it once was - maybe the Indian education system is addressing the gaps in their students education. However, I-ran, for the country Iran (and I-raq, for Iraq) is still quite widespread overseas, with several prominent politicians using the incorrect pronunciation. *shudder*
8) My hairs are soooo long! - This gives me shudders even as I type. Every time I hear someone say 'hairs' when they should say 'hair', I have to literally bite the insides of my mouth to stop myself from correcting them on the spot. Variations of this include - "his hairs are straight but mine are curly", "I will get my hairs cut today", etc. For the life of me I don't understand how this got started; English grammar books in India are very particular about plurals and words that don't have a plural, so it boggles my mind. Thankfully, this particular gap in grammar is not prevalent in most urban cities, but it is enough of an issue for it to make my top pet peeves.
I'm going to stop at 8 for today, but I'm sure I will add to this list over time. Communication and Language in India is always an adventure; especially when you consider that most Indians know two languages at least (some are native speakers of four or five languages). So in all honesty, a couple of mishaps here and there really isn't a big deal when you take that into consideration. We are masters of Language and Communication.
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