Drive on!
If you have ever been to India (New Delhi specifically), our
chaotic traffic was probably your first impression of this beautiful city. Most
people will find it intimidating to enter the flow of this seemingly chaotic
dance that is traffic in India. I don't drive in India, mostly because my dad
is terrified I will wreck his car, but also because I'm a bit scared. But as I
still have quite a long commute to work every-day, Uber has been my friend. And
I must say being in the passenger seat has been great! I get to observe some
fantastic maneuvering on the roads, while not having to enter the fray myself. And
from what I can tell, though at first it appears as if there are no traffic
rules and chaos reigns unchecked, there a set of rules that drivers in Delhi are
following. Unfortunately, the logic behind these rules only makes sense to the
Delhi driver, putting everyone else at a disadvantage. So, I decided to put
together a compilation of my ‘observations’ (for lack of a better word) of
these traffic rules. The list can be endless, so I’ve narrowed it down to my
‘Top 8 Driving Annoyances’:
1) The Road Hierarchy: It is quite simple, really - the bigger
your vehicle, the more power you have on the road. If you are sitting in your
modest Maruti 800 and a big DTC bus comes along, it is time for you to give way
to this giant on the road and get as far away as possible. DO NOT mess with it,
or try to correct it if it appears to be making a mistake. And woe is you if
you are caught in a power struggle between two buses.
2) Lane Driving is Safe Driving: The lines on the road that
differentiate different lanes in most other countries are mere decorations on
our roads. Some guy probably saw a blank/empty road and decided that it was a
blank canvas and went crazy with his white paint and brush! Do not be fooled by
the arrows that appear sporadically on the roads - they do not mean anything
and they are most certainly not an indication of whether a particular lane is a
turn lane.
3) Logic and Reasoning: These do not exist on the roads in India
(And as my observations in this area has been quite extensive, I've decided to
include subheadings for this portion):
i) Turn lanes - If you want to turn
right, you would think that the logical thing to do would be to move over to
the right most lane before you turn comes up for a smooth turn. Not so in
India! Here we think it is a lot more fun to be in the middle (or better yet,
in the left lane) till we are at the turn; at which point we proceed to make
our turn from the far side of the road to the general frustration of everyone
who is to my right and needs to go straight. The other drivers let out their
frustration by honking till everyone around them is deaf. (My dad tells me that
this phenomenon occurs mostly at signals because people don't like to stand
behind anybody else – maybe we have taken the concept of the ‘rat race’ too
far?)
ii) Making a Turn - If you are making a turn
and by some crazy coincidence the person next to you is making the same turn
then this seemingly mundane occurrence suddenly becomes a race to see who can
get to the other side faster. This race often results in the person on the left
side cutting you off by occupying the right most lane on the other side of the
intersection. Well, you snooze you lose, right?
iii) Round and Round we go - Round-a-bouts are
possibly one of the worst things on Indian roads. The concept is good; traffic
flows smoother, as people give way to others and nobody would need to come to a
complete halt at intersections. In India, the concept of 'right of way' is a 'foreign'
concept. So, in practice what happens is that there is traffic blocking cars
exiting and entering the roundabout making a smooth transition impossible, and
often leads to traffic coming to a complete halt.
iv) Teleportation - No matter
what position they occupy as they crowd around a signal, the moment that signal
changes and becomes green, even the cars at the very back will start honking;
In my opinion, this is because car honks have magical abilities in India -
honking will either automatically teleport all cars in front of them to the
other side, or it will part the cars to make a clear passage (as seen in Bruce Almighty)
4) What pretty lights: The red, orange and green lights at
intersections a.k.a traffic lights in other places are merely suggestions in
India, to be followed at the whim and fancy of the individual encountering
them. To be fair, most drivers do follow traffic lights; also, there are enough
cops on the road for the threat of getting a ticket to be real. The issue here
isn’t that cars don’t stop at traffic lights, it’s that they don’t stop in
time. When it comes to traffic lights, Delhi drivers adopt what I like to call
‘road-herd mentality’. Which means that if they approach a signal, and it is
orange counting down to red, they automatically speed up so they can be part of
the group that is still crossing. They do this with the hope that if they are
part of the big group of vehicles crossing to the other side, no-one will
notice that they have in fact crossed after the light has changed to red. This
is not true - We did notice, and we’re not happy about it. (picture: angry face
emoji)
5) Puk-puk-puk-pukak: Now that we’ve discussed how Delhi drivers
approach traffic lights, what happens when they approach an intersection
without a light? Well, when approaching an intersection Delhi drivers are
experts at playing chicken. Scene: Delhi driver 1 is approaching said
intersection without a light, and sees that Delhi driver 2 is also approaching
at a speed and trajectory that places them in each other’s projected path.
Driver 1 maintains his speed, slowing down ever so slightly, to see if driver 2
will back down. Driver 2, not to be out-done, adopts the same strategy and
continues to drive towards the intersection, and driver 1. They continue in
this fashion, till they are close enough to touch the other car, till one of
them finally decides to back down and let the other car pass. Wouldn’t it be
less stressful to have a yield/right of way system in place you might ask. The
answer would be no, we’re perfectly happy with our chicken dance.
6) Safety first! So, this isn’t technically related to
traffic on the roads, but it is about driving, so I feel justified in including
this point as well. Might I just say that it boggles my mind that putting your
seatbelt on is something that doesn’t come naturally to everyone! Thankfully,
in Delhi you will get a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt so the fear of a
ticket will ensure that most people are wearing their seatbelt. Aside from
seatbelts, what’s worse is when a child’s safety is put at risk. Most countries
have child-specific safety-guidelines, but here in India due to overpopulation,
we adopt a more laid back attitude when it comes to safety. So here’s two tips
for anyone with a child in their car: Firstly, your child (below 12 or so)
shouldn’t be sitting in the front seat (in your lap, or otherwise), even if
they are wearing their seatbelt. It is far too dangerous (plus, they may fiddle
with your radio station preferences etc. and nobody wants that!). Secondly,
though it is fun to try and stay upright when the movement of the car is
jostling you around, but that is quite dangerous. Leave the thrill-seeking to
when you take your children to theme parks with roller coasters. And in the
meantime: buckle your kids into their seats (To me, this also feels like it
should be intuitive to most people, but strangely it isn’t)
7) The Biker gang: Threading through traffic on their way from
place to place, these are stuntmen on wheels. They consider any unoccupied
space greater than a meter or so as wasted space and strive to occupy it. You
may think that the gap you have left between you and the curb is quite small,
but the bike-man has come to shatter and defy your spatial awareness by
squeezing through the gap. He might leave a mark on your car, but by the time
you figure that out, he’s long gone weaving through traffic to get to the front
of the line.
8) Horn, Okay please: We love our music in India, and honking is
our way of bringing music to the streets. Where drivers of most countries hardly
use their horn, drivers in India feel that it must be used at least once in 10
minutes. Short blasts are quite common, as are melodious tunes that trucks from
out of town use. Every type of vehicle uses a different type of horn, so the
overall effect can be overwhelming. But as most people have built a tolerance
towards honking, horns don’t seem to serve any real purpose. The only exception
is when someone is very frustrated with the traffic that day and they let out
one long unbroken obnoxious honk. This can break your early morning music jam
or your afternoon reverie and make you wish all kinds of horrid things for
them. But hey, I’ve been told that’s part of life on the streets.
After reading this (and believe me, this list is by no means
exhaustive), one might wonder how anybody manages to drive at all! But somehow
we manage to make this crazy dance work for us. And in case you got bored with
all the reading, here’s a fun video of driving in Delhi.
And if you are not from this part of the world and consider
yourself a good driver, I challenge you to try and drive on the streets of
Delhi. Go on, I dare you.
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